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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 11

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 11

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Genesis 8 | King James Version (KJV)

And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters assuaged;

The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained; – the “windows”, or rather, the openings to the floodgates closed. Again, suggesting that the sky was like a dome covering the flat-Earth.

And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat. – Poetic.

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen. – How convenient still, that on the first day of the tenth month, you’d see the tops of the other mountains. More meaningless poetry.

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made: 

And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth. 

Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground; 

But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.

10 And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;

11 And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.

12 And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.

13 And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.

14 And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried. – God took his natural time drying up the fucking Earth.

15 And God spake unto Noah, saying,

16 Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

17 Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth. – “And needent you worry about the possible genetic disadvantages of all the inevitable inbreeding which I hath forced upon all the animal pairs, foreth I shall perform the miracle of genetic diversity among the offspring to fixeth it.” – God

18 And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him:

19 Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.

20 And Noah builded an altar unto the Lord; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. – “Remembereth, take an extra supply of clean beasts foreth I need you to kill them and set them on fire to please me. It’s not like I’m nuts or anything.” – God

21 And the Lord smelled a sweet savour; and the Lord said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. – Because, somehow, promising that you won’t ever again kill every living thing on the Earth out of your anger for having created evil men makes you seem somehow more merciful and benevolent? No! Imagine there’s a father who raised 10 twin children, and by the time the children were all teenagers, eight of them are quite violent and unruly toward each other. Now, imagine if that father justified murdering the eight, sparing the first two, and then later promised that he’d never do anything like that again. And he claims he’s somehow not really to blame, because the eight were unruly and violent, he had to teach the two remaining children a lesson in obedience and humility. Could that father ever be considered just? Fuck no, and neither should Yahweh! What’s worse is that the burning of animal flesh for the sake of sacrifice is so sweet to this maniacal god.

22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

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What Christians Really Mean Vol 003


vol 3

“I feel blessed.”

what they usually mean: “Forsaking others, God has a special plan for me, so he’s promoting me in order to help me fulfill that plan.” / “God has rewarded me for being ‘good’ or doing hard work.” / “My life is good/better, not because of anything I’ve done, but because God favors me.” (However, the whole concept of being ‘blessed’ or ‘holy’ is morally insidious in any case.)

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What Christians Really Mean Vol 002


vol 2

“The 5-second rule.”

what they usually mean: “It takes the Devil about 5 seconds to contaminate your food once it’s hit the floor”

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 10

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 10

Critique of the bible.

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Genesis 7 | King James Version (KJV)

And the Lord said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation. – contradiction to the part of the bible that says God is ‘no respecter’ of persons. “Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:” – Acts 10:34

Although God seeing one person as righteous and another as being non-righteous could explain this contradiction, there is still the matter of him drowning babies in the flood. Can a baby be unrighteous and deserving of such a fate?

Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female. – eat clean and lift.

Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth. – For all the 9 or 10 thousand year old trees that still exist, you can now throw this baby out with the bath water. (old trees)

And Noah did according unto all that the Lord commanded him.

And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood. – No, because there was a game on, and Noah has cable T.V.

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth, 

There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.

10 And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.

11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened. – Again, heaven is mentioned as being physically ‘up’. From the surface of the spherical Earth, there is no objective ‘up’ or ‘down’. Genesis plainly suggests Earth to be flat.

12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights. – And men, women, children, the elderly and every other animal is drowned.

13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark; – should we guess the wives of Noah’s sons had no families of their own?

14 They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort. 

15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life. 

16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the Lord shut him in. 

17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered. – Even Mount Everest, which is 5 & 1/2 miles high? That’s 5 & 1/2 miles of water which could have come from nowhere else but the opened floodgates of the firmament (or a mass of icy comets). Counter to common atheist arguments, there wouldn’t be an atmospheric pressure deficit on Noah’s ark, but rather a pressure surplus due to Earth’s uniformly high sea level. Earth is now larger and more massive, this will cause the ark and its passengers to weigh more. What would Earth’s mass really be if covered in 5+ extra miles of ocean water?

Miracle Solution:

Of course, God will create a magic bubble around the ark, depressurizing it and making it lighter in weight. Also, God prevents the ark from tearing apart.

20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered. – What?!

21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:

22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.

23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 09

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 9

Critique of the bible. Previous: Genesis 6

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Genesis Chapter 6:8-22 (KJV)

Russell Crowe in Noah (2014)

But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. – The eyes of the Lord favored one of his creations, yet he hated almost everyone else.

These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God. – Someone feel free to explain to me what “perfect in his generations” means; I’m not going to just guess.

10 And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

12 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. – Cop-out, or God-out. Just another excuse to blame the creation, not the creator.

13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. – “All flesh”? Does that mean that in an Earth with violent humans, all the animals deserve to meet their end as well? No thinking person can defend this horseshit.

14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. – A young-Earther on YouTube spends an hour talking about gopher wood. If you love gopher wood, click here and have a blast.

15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. – Bill Nye on building the Ark:

16 A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. – What is a cubit?

Cubitan ancient linear unit based on the length of the forearm, from elbow to the tip of the middle finger, usually from 17 to 21 inches (43 to 53 cm). [1]

Richard Dawkins on Noah’s Ark:

17 And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. – “I, even I, do bring a flood”, of course you do.

18 But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. – …and thy sons’ friends? No. Thy sons’ wives’ parents? No. Thy sons’ wives’ brothers, sisters or friends? No. Fuck thy sons’ wives’ families; tell your sons’ wives to pay their last respects (to their living friends and family). God is going to deliver a slow, cruel death-by-drowning. Why not issue a poisonous gas over the Earth to kill exactly who you want to kill? Either Yahweh is a sadist or the OT authors couldn’t come up with anything better than a flood.

19 And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. – Every “kind” or every species? For a later discussion.

20 Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive. – Two of every kind of germ and microscopic thing? Nope, the author(s) didn’t know germs existed.

21 And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them. – And it shall not go bad, for the Lord your God shall keepeth it fresh.

22 Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 08

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 8

Critique of the bible. Last week: Genesis 5

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Genesis Chapter 6:1-7 (KJV)

And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. – Guessing “sons of God” means angels. Many English versions of this verse, including the NIV, also use the phrase ‘sons of God’.

And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. – A woman lived to be 127 in 2014.

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.No daughters of God? 

Agnostic New Testament scholar Bart D. Ehrman, explains how ancient copies of biblical manuscripts vary from copy to copy, and many of the variations could be the result of attempted corrections or elaborations made by different copiers. Why is this important? “Sons of God”, as stated in verse 2, seems to identify the angels as divine in some way. Christ, however, has been called the “son of man” and also the “son of God” in the Bible, supporting the idea that there were different authors. These different authors may not have agreed upon Christ’s divinity or deity. 

Also, most people were illiterate, and had to rely on varying interpretations of the Bible. If there really were a Christian God, then he did not care if anyone got the same message, and the textural variations were severe. Don’t believe me? Look up Bart D. Ehrman lectures and debates on YouTube. Ehrman has also written books on problems with the Bible.

And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. – This sounds like a really vague excuse for drowning people to death.

“They were really, really evil! I had to do it!” – God

And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. – The almighty, all knowing god, suddenly realized he was sorry for making something.

And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. – You’ll see that God changes his mind a lot in the Bible. This may be the reason people believe they can pray and change God’s mind today.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 07

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 7

Critique of the bible. Last week: Genesis 4

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Genesis Chapter 5 (KJV)

This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;

Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth: – Note that at the age of 130, Adam had produced enough children to populate Nod so that Cain could flee there and marry his sister. Now, don’t forget that at 130, Adam and Eve could have been reproducing at mere months or days old. (In this myth, the first ever married couple were infants.)

And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters: …right.

And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died. – “…and he died”? Really? I would have thought that after 930 years he’d have gone skiing.

And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:

And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters: 

And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died. 

And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:

10 And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:

11 And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.

12 And Cainan lived seventy years and begat Mahalaleel:

13 And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:

14 And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.

15 And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:

16 And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:

17 And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.

18 And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:

19 And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

20 And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.

21 And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:

22 And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

23 And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:

24 And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him. – ?

25 And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech.

26 And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

27 And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.

28 And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:

29 And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the Lord hath cursed.

30 And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:

31 And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.

32 And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth. – To all the Christians who believe this, please tell me why. 

There really was not a lot to criticize in Vol 7. There is no confirmed evidence of people having lived over 150 years. This chapter just gives a very vague idea of how many people were on Earth before God comes in and drowns everyone alive. So how many people exist by the end of chapter 5? I have no clue.

The Young Turks reported a woman turning 127 in their 2014 video titled: The World’s Oldest Person, You Won’t Believe How Old She Is!

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 06

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 6

Every week I’m critiquing biblical scriptures. Last week: Genesis 3:8-24

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Genesis Chapter 4:1-26 (KJV)

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.

And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

William Bouguereau, Cain and Abel, 1861, Oil on canvas

And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. Keep God happy by bringing him offerings, because it’ll be a while before Jesus comes to offer himself as the final ritual sacrifice.

And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: –  Isn’t there somewhere else in the bible that says that God is not a “respecter” of persons? Oh, right, Acts 10:34 – “Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons“. I guess God is no respecter of consistency.

But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. – Why?

And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. – Out of spite, or out of the desire to be respected and honored by his god? It seems God and Cain have a lot in common.

And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper? – Still wondering if God really likes asking rhetorical questions, or if he was off somewhere watching badgers mate on another continent.

10 And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground. – Abel’s blood crieth, yet god doeth nothing to revive him. God is not a respecter of blood, unless it’s in the form of a burnt offering.

11 And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother’s blood from thy hand;

12 When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth. – God is all about life-long punishment. Is this Cain’s first offense? If God was watching over Cain his whole life, how did he become so evil? 

13 And Cain said unto the Lord, My punishment is greater than I can bear. – Of course Cain would say that…

14 Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me. – When did the Earth become so populated? Also, how are they going to know about the murder?

15 And the Lord said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him. – God protects Cain by issuing a threat of sevenfold vengeance. Odd justice.

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. – “Out from the presence of the Lord”? So the land of Nod was like the Bahrain of Saudi Arabia? If others on Earth could commit the ‘sin’ of slaying Cain, then the story of Adam and Eve’s original sin is turning out to be a major contradiction.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. – It’s funny listening to Christians talk about all the children Adam and Eve were supposed to have had. I’ve got some relatives I’d like to talk to about this.

18 And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.

God is Loving? Well, you know, that’s just like your opinion man. – by God’s Autopsy

19 And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. – “God, Zillah isn’t obeying my every command, may I striketh her?” – Lamech

20 And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.

21 And his brother’s name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.

22 And Zillah, she also bare Tubalcain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubalcain was Naamah. – Will Two-Ballcain ever muster the boldness to become twice as evil as Cain?

23 And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.

24 If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold. – …and, why is this?

25 And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew. – I’m guessing they had a great deal of children before Cain and Abel.

26 And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the Lord. – Tell your Christian friends and relatives to read their bibles.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 05

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 5

Every week I’m critiquing biblical scriptures. Last week: Genesis 3:1-7

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Genesis Chapter 3:8-24 (KJV)

And they heard the voice of Jehovah God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of Jehovah God amongst the trees of the garden. – Are we meant to believe that they could hear God’s voice and hid before he could see them? Read your bible if you think that OT God is omnipresent.

And Jehovah God called unto the man, and said unto him, Where art thou?

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. – Where’s Eve?

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? – Beautiful language style.

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. – This is a real form of the objectification of women; Eve was merely given to Adam as a helper or servant (an help meet). Adam was clearly made to be superior and Eve was created so that he could not be alone.

13 And Jehovah God said unto the woman, What is this thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. – That’s right, the serpent beguiled her. Is God going to demonstrate some forgiveness? No, that’s too hard for God.

14 And Jehovah God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, cursed art thou above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: – Was “dust shalt thou eat” a metaphor? Had the author ever seen a snake eating a mouse?

15 and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed: he shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. – I don’t understand this verse, but it may mean that Adam will eventually conquer Satan by crushing his head. [1]

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. – As if God originally never intended for Adam to rule over his wife. And as if childbirth would have been peachy otherwise.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; – Most people interpret this as follows: because you didn’t respect me, you’re cursed and you will have to toil and struggle forever. The huge contradiction between this verse and the modern world is that capitalism exists, and some men don’t have to toil. A Christian will say, “yeah but people have to work hard and study before they can earn a living”. Working hard and studying doesn’t apply to rich kids, something that was unimaginable at the time this book was written. 

18 thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. – …or a blood clot. Depends on which book you read. Also, which part of that book you read.

20 And the man called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. – God decides to name the unnamed property of Adam only after fruitgate. Women in the bible were obviously second-class citizens from page one.

21 And Jehovah God made for Adam and for his wife coats of skins, and clothed them. – Were they tailored to look fashionable, or were they baggy? Did the coats come with hoodies?

22 And Jehovah God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever – God could have killed Adam and started over again, but chose not to. He deliberately wanted every generation of man to suffer. A spiteful shit was he. The god of Genesis was supposedly incapable of taking away Adam’s knowledge of good and evil. How can any sane person not think this is all myth?!

23 therefore Jehovah God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. – “Suffer all your days, but don’t forget, you still have to till the ground” – Jehovah God

24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden the Cherubim, and the flame of a sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. – Obviously the author thought there was a garden within which lies a tree of life. Where did they think the garden was, and what did they think happened to it? Did they think the flood destroyed a tree of eternal life?

source 1:

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 04

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 4

Critiquing biblical scriptures. Last week, I covered Genesis 1:25-31, and Genesis 2:1-25, this week: Genesis 3:1-7

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Genesis Chapter 3 – verses 1-7 (KJV)

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? – Had God only warned Eve that talking beasts are sketchy. Had God only warned Eve that there was a such thing as a bullshitter, there’d be no babies born with bone cancer. Oops, too bad. Blame Eve. Remember the film “The Invention of Lying”? Can you punish those who believe a lie and act on it without actually understanding what it means to lie?

And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: – All the while God watches the show as if it were Game of Thrones (with more nudity).

For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. – Because curiosity and knowing about the world is apparently a sin in the bible. See the tower of Babel for example. The Bible is a constant reminder to its believers to keep your head in the sand. If the story of Adam and Eve is not an allegory for blind obedience, I don’t know what is.

Creepy serpent guy seen wrapped around the tree is the reason some children are born with bone cancer.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. – Why would the tree be pleasant to the eyes? Is it because God wants the tree to be tempting? The tree should be ugly, black, thorny and hard to access. Nope, God wants to test man. If you’re a Christian and you think God wasn’t going to keep tempting man again and again until they finally gave in, then you probably never gave much thought to this myth. And don’t blame it on the serpent, God surely created him too, knowing he was in the garden.

You must concede that the god of the Old Testament was not omniscient and omnipresent. The OT god contradicts the omniscient, omnipotent god Christians believe in today.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. – When you pick up a science book, you risk opening your eyes. When you pick up an apple, you risk burning in hell fire for eternity. How can you argue that Yahweh is moral?

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