Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 09

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 9

Critique of the bible. Previous: Genesis 6

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Genesis Chapter 6:8-22 (KJV)

Russell Crowe in Noah (2014)

But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. – The eyes of the Lord favored one of his creations, yet he hated almost everyone else.

These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God. – Someone feel free to explain to me what “perfect in his generations” means; I’m not going to just guess.

10 And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

12 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. – Cop-out, or God-out. Just another excuse to blame the creation, not the creator.

13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. – “All flesh”? Does that mean that in an Earth with violent humans, all the animals deserve to meet their end as well? No thinking person can defend this horseshit.

14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. – A young-Earther on YouTube spends an hour talking about gopher wood. If you love gopher wood, click here and have a blast.

15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. – Bill Nye on building the Ark:

16 A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. – What is a cubit?

Cubitan ancient linear unit based on the length of the forearm, from elbow to the tip of the middle finger, usually from 17 to 21 inches (43 to 53 cm). [1]

Richard Dawkins on Noah’s Ark:

17 And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. – “I, even I, do bring a flood”, of course you do.

18 But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. – …and thy sons’ friends? No. Thy sons’ wives’ parents? No. Thy sons’ wives’ brothers, sisters or friends? No. Fuck thy sons’ wives’ families; tell your sons’ wives to pay their last respects (to their living friends and family). God is going to deliver a slow, cruel death-by-drowning. Why not issue a poisonous gas over the Earth to kill exactly who you want to kill? Either Yahweh is a sadist or the OT authors couldn’t come up with anything better than a flood.

19 And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. – Every “kind” or every species? For a later discussion.

20 Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive. – Two of every kind of germ and microscopic thing? Nope, the author(s) didn’t know germs existed.

21 And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them. – And it shall not go bad, for the Lord your God shall keepeth it fresh.

22 Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 08

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 8

Critique of the bible. Last week: Genesis 5

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Genesis Chapter 6:1-7 (KJV)

And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. – Guessing “sons of God” means angels. Many English versions of this verse, including the NIV, also use the phrase ‘sons of God’.

And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. – A woman lived to be 127 in 2014.

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.No daughters of God? 

Agnostic New Testament scholar Bart D. Ehrman, explains how ancient copies of biblical manuscripts vary from copy to copy, and many of the variations could be the result of attempted corrections or elaborations made by different copiers. Why is this important? “Sons of God”, as stated in verse 2, seems to identify the angels as divine in some way. Christ, however, has been called the “son of man” and also the “son of God” in the Bible, supporting the idea that there were different authors. These different authors may not have agreed upon Christ’s divinity or deity. 

Also, most people were illiterate, and had to rely on varying interpretations of the Bible. If there really were a Christian God, then he did not care if anyone got the same message, and the textural variations were severe. Don’t believe me? Look up Bart D. Ehrman lectures and debates on YouTube. Ehrman has also written books on problems with the Bible.

And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. – This sounds like a really vague excuse for drowning people to death.

“They were really, really evil! I had to do it!” – God

And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. – The almighty, all knowing god, suddenly realized he was sorry for making something.

And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. – You’ll see that God changes his mind a lot in the Bible. This may be the reason people believe they can pray and change God’s mind today.

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Scalpel to the Scriptures Vol 07

Scalpel to the Scriptures: Vol 7

Critique of the bible. Last week: Genesis 4

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Genesis Chapter 5 (KJV)

This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;

Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth: – Note that at the age of 130, Adam had produced enough children to populate Nod so that Cain could flee there and marry his sister. Now, don’t forget that at 130, Adam and Eve could have been reproducing at mere months or days old. (In this myth, the first ever married couple were infants.)

And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters: …right.

And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died. – “…and he died”? Really? I would have thought that after 930 years he’d have gone skiing.

And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:

And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters: 

And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died. 

And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:

10 And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:

11 And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.

12 And Cainan lived seventy years and begat Mahalaleel:

13 And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:

14 And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.

15 And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:

16 And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:

17 And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.

18 And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:

19 And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

20 And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.

21 And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:

22 And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

23 And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:

24 And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him. – ?

25 And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech.

26 And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

27 And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.

28 And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:

29 And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the Lord hath cursed.

30 And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:

31 And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.

32 And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth. – To all the Christians who believe this, please tell me why. 

There really was not a lot to criticize in Vol 7. There is no confirmed evidence of people having lived over 150 years. This chapter just gives a very vague idea of how many people were on Earth before God comes in and drowns everyone alive. So how many people exist by the end of chapter 5? I have no clue.

The Young Turks reported a woman turning 127 in their 2014 video titled: The World’s Oldest Person, You Won’t Believe How Old She Is!

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